


Puberty is Monstrous

by orphan_account



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Body Horror, Eldritch Abomination Kimi, Gen, Puberty, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-19 07:45:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2380415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows puberty is bad, but for Kimi it's about to get a whole lot worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All I wanted was a good wank.

**Author's Note:**

> I am the FormulaOneAutor on tumblr. This story was crafted from the idea of an Anon, and if you would like to give ideas, or prompt/request, you are welcome to do so.

“James, can you go tell Kimi that dinner’s ready?” Niki asked, wiping his hands on a dish towel.

“Are you sure he’s up there?” James replied, appearing in the doorway.

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t seen or heard him all day. Are you sure he’s not at Seb’s?”

“Of course I’m sure! I think I would know the location of my own son. Now go tell him dinner’s ready.”

James shrugged, climbing up the stairs and going up to his son’s bedroom door. He knocked on it softly, “Kimi, dinner’s ready.”

There was no answer. James smiled to himself, thinking that he was right. He tried the knob, wanting to make sure, but found the door locked. James was confused, Kimi didn’t leave his door locked while he was away. James thought that maybe Kimi was just sleeping, the boy did have an addiction to napping. James knocked harder, “Kimi my love, dinner’s ready!”

“Go away!” It sounded like Kimi, but deeper than normal, and more panicked. 

“Oi, that’s no way to talk to your dad. Come on, Kimster it’s dinner, Niki’s waiting.”

“I-I’m not hungry, just go away…please.” 

“Kimster, you know the rules, even if you’re not hungry, you still have to come down to the table.” 

“Dad please, just go away.” 

James stepped away, Kimi very rarely called him Dad. He knew something was wrong, going down stairs he found Niki at the table, looking bored.

“I’m guessing you were right about Kimi not being here?” Niki asked, seeing James alone.

“He’s here but, I think something’s wrong he’s refusing to come down, and he even called me Dad.” James replied looking confused.

“Let me talk to him.”

Niki got up and went up to his son’s room, knocking on the door.

“Kimi, it’s me. What’s a-matter?” Niki asked in a soft tone.

“N-Nothing, just not hungry.” Kimi replied.

“Are you sick?” 

“Yeah, I don’t want you two to catch it, it’s bad. Just, go back down stairs.”

“Kleiner we can do this one of two ways. You let me in, or I pick the lock.” 

“Vati, please. Just go away.” 

“I’m going to go get my lockpick.” 

That seemed to work and Niki heard the soft “click” of the lock. He reached out, opening the door slowly, and finding it totally dark in the room, the hallway light barely making a strip carpet visible. Niki reached over, attempting to find the light switch. He flicked it on, seeing a lump of blankets on his son’s bed, moving around. Niki closed the door behind him. He walked over to the pile of blankets, reaching to reveal his son, but Kimi flinched away. Niki sat on the bed next to him. 

“You are going to have to come out from under there someday, you’ll get hungry, or have to go to the bathroom, or James and I won’t be able to hold Seb back from coming up here.”

“Vati, I’m under the blanket because I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” 

“Me.” 

“Kleiner, why are you afraid of yourself?” 

“Because I’m not normal.”

“Who told you you’re not normal?” 

“Nobody, I figured it out.” 

“Kimi did something happen?”

Niki saw the blanket slowly being moved back. He could see a blonde tuft of hair emerging from the blanket. Kimi’s normally pale skin had taken a more grey tone. Kimi looked at him, the sclera was totally black, irises a bright violet. Niki’s eyes were wide, but he didn’t flinch away. Kimi opened his mouth revealing long, pointed teeth. He pulled the blanket from his back revealing long, wriggling tentacles, colors ranging between black and purple. Kimi hugged his knees, revealing he had black claws on the ends of his fingers. Niki gawked for a moment, before gathering his son up in a hug, feeling Kimi (And what he assumed were the tentacles.) hug him back. Kimi scooted onto Niki’s lap like he did when he was younger. 

“Okay, so now will you tell me what happened?” Niki asked, rubbing Kimi’s arm.

“I was…well I was wanking earlier, and I…I…climaxed, and suddenly I felt this really weird pain in my back, and it was burning and itching, and everything hurt, and I blacked out for a second, and I got up and went over to my mirror, and I saw what happened, and I panicked. I’m sorry about the mirror.” Kimi and Niki looked over seeing the mirror was smashed and the shards were on the floor. “I’ve been hiding up here since then…I don’t know what to do.” 

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out. Just concentrate, concentrate on going back to normal.”

Kimi closed his eyes, concentrating as hard as he could picturing himself back as he was. He felt the pain again, but lessened this time. He opened his eyes, immediately looking at his hands and seeing the claws had retracted. He couldn’t feel the tentacles anymore either.

“How did you know that would work?” Kimi asked, staring at Niki.

“I didn’t. I saw it in a movie once.” Niki replied, grinning, but then got serious. “Are you going to tell James?”

“I don’t know. I still don’t know what happened I’m scared Vati. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I don’t know if it’s going to happen again. How are you not running away Vati?” 

“You’re my son, you could become a dragon one day and I would still love you with all my heart. It’s no fun being told that you are frightening.” 

Kimi looked up knowing exactly what Niki was talking about. 

“Do you want to stay home tomorrow? It’ll give us some time to try to figure this out, and perhaps I’ll get you some ice-cream.”

“Thank-you Vati.” 

“Okay let’s go and eat, if James hasn’t already eaten everything.”

“I’ll be right down, I need to put clothes on.”

Niki looked down, noticing at that moment that Kimi didn’t have clothes on. Kimi scooted off of his lap, letting Niki get up and go down stairs. Where James was falling asleep at the table. Niki sat down at his plate, noticing that it was covered to keep the heat in. He uncovered it slowly, and James’s head shot up, looking over and seeing Niki. 

“Did you talk to Kimi?” James asked, uncovering his plate.

“Yes, he’ll be down in a moment. Just has to wash up.” Niki answered. True to his word at that next moment Kimi appeared, coming up and sitting down at the table. 

“There he is, finally gracing me with his appearance.” James stated giving his son a light poke in the shoulder. “Why didn’t you want to come down?”

“Well.” Kimi looked over at Niki, who nodded at him. “Something happened to me when I was…was wanking”

“A penile fracture? That happened to a friend of mine once, right in the middle of his dick.”

“JAMES! Listen to your son, he is trying to tell you something.” 

“Sorry Kimi, go on, you were wanking?”

“Yeah, and I, God this is not dinner conversation.” Niki placed his hand on Kimi’s, giving it a light squeeze, urging Kimi to continue. “I climaxed and this burning, itching pain shot through me, and I blacked out. When I woke up I…I was a monster.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t know how to tell you. I didn’t have to describe this to Vati.”

“If you want you can try to show him.” Niki assured. “Just concentrate.” 

“Okay.” Kimi replied.

He concentrated, picturing himself earlier. He felt the pain again, not as intense as the first time. He knew it was working when he heard James gasp.


	2. What am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niki is a good dad.

Kimi opened his eyes slowly, being greeted by James staring at him. The Brit’s eyes were the size of dinner plates, but he didn’t say anything, he and Kimi just sat starring at each other. Niki kicked James under the table, attempting to make him say something. James just continued staring for a moment before looking down at his plate, but then immediately back up at Kimi.

“That’s neat!” James stated, voice squeaking a bit, making Niki sigh and rub his eyes. 

“Kimi will you pass me the potatoes before I kill your father?” Niki asked, holding out his hand. Kimi quickly passed the bowl, looking down at his plate ashamedly. This was what he was afraid of in telling James. He had a feeling that Niki would understand before he let him into his room, but James didn’t have to live with people staring, balking, or telling their kids not to ask questions, Niki did, he was just more prone to understanding. Kimi concentrated on going back to normal, hoping that it would make James say something more. But when the pain subsided and he opened his eyes, James was looking down at his plate, mindlessly eating. Kimi wanted to cry. He wanted to scream, or to beg. He wanted James to hold him like Niki had and to tell him that it was okay, that he still loved Kimi. 

Kimi pushed the food around on his plate until Niki put his hand on Kimi’s shoulder. “How about you and I go to the store to get some ice-cream?” He asked, smiling softly.

“Alright, let me go get my shoes.” Kimi replied softly, going up to his room. Niki took this opportunity to glare holes into James.

“Could you have made him feel any worse?” Niki whispered harshly.

“I’m sorry all I could think of to say was, ‘neat’! I mean come on, he has tentacles! You’re not the slightest bit freaked out Niki?” James replied, bringing the dishes into the kitchen.

“Of course, but don’t you think he’s a little more freaked out than you?”

“I think he’s taking this quite well for a kid who found out he could sprout tentacles while he was jacking off!”

“He’s in shock you dumbass, people usually look like they’re taking things well while they’re in shock! When we get back you are going to apologize for treating him like that. You need to reassure him…You need to make sure he knows that you love him James.”

“He knows I love him.” 

“YOU. NEED. TO. TELL. HIM…James, this is a big deal. Puberty is hard enough, school is hard enough, life is hard enough, now he has to deal with this on top of it. He needs reassurance, and love, and ice-cream. I’m even letting him stay home from school for a few days, so we can figure this out. You’re going to figure out what to say why we’re gone, or you’re sleeping in a hotel. Got it?”

“Yeah, I’m guessing I’m going to be doing the dishes too?”

“Oh you bet your ass you are.” 

Niki walked out to the living room, where Kimi was just coming down the stairs. Niki gathered him into a hug, Kimi hugging him back, tightly. When they broke the hug. Niki led Kimi outside to the car and they got in, Niki turned it on and drove off. Kimi watched the landscape blur by, faintly lit by the last shreds of sun from behind the tree line. He wanted to talk, but at the same time he didn’t. He knew that Niki probably talked to James which is the only reason Kimi took so long to get his shoes. 

“Vati…is Dad scared of me?” Kimi asked, his voice shaking. 

“I don’t think so Kleiner, I think he’s just…He just doesn’t understand and like I’ve told you, people fear what they don’t understand. I don’t think he fears you though. I think his mind is just trying to process at the moment and that’s leading to him not being able to properly react. The thing is though, this isn’t about him, it’s about you. How are you feeling about this?” Niki glanced over at Kimi, who was looking at him intently. 

“I don’t know how I feel, I’m scared, and I don’t understand what’s happening to me, I want to cry, to scream, to punch something…” Kimi could feel the tears beginning to get angry. “I want to be normal Vati, I don’t want to deal with this. I don’t want to have to deal with being a freak or a monster, it’s not fair! It’s not fair!” 

Before Kimi knew it he felt the tell-tale burning pain, and gritted his teeth he took off his t-shirt so that his new appendages didn’t rip his shirt. 

“GOD-DAMMIT.” Kimi spit. “IS THERE ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME DO THIS!?” In his anger Kimi punched the dashboard, and Niki pulled over on the dark road.

“Kimi, you have to calm down, or you won’t be able to concentrate on returning to yourself.” Niki stated softly, facing his son.

“MAYBE I DON’T WANT TO CALM DOWN!” Kimi yelled, tears streaming down his cheeks. “MAYBE I’LL RUN AROUND LIKE THIS ATTACKING PEOPLE LIKE THE MONSTER I AM! MAYBE I WON’T EVEN BE IN CONTROL ANYMORE.” Kimi began to cry harder as he yelled. “I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OR ELSE I’LL SUDDENLY BECOME SOME FREAKISH MONSTER AND SCARE PEOPLE, AND MAKE THEM HATE ME! I WANT MY LIFE TO BE NORMAL…I WANT TO BE NORMAL! BUT I CAN’T BE I HAVE TO BE THIS, WHAT AM I VATI? WHAT THE FUCK AM I?” 

Niki gathered Kimi up in an almost bone-crushing hug. “You are my son, you are my Kimi, and I promise you, no matter what, we’ll figure this out okay? You’ll be fine, you’ll be able to live your life how you want.”

“I’m sorry Vati, I didn’t mean to yell at you.” Kimi was still crying but was calmer now, thanks to being able to vent. 

“I think you of all people have the right to yell at the moment.”

Kimi and Niki sat there for a few minutes before Kimi was able to concentrate enough to revert back. He put his t-shirt on, and Niki pulled the car back to the road. They drove in silence, and when they got to the store, Kimi stayed in the car, listening to the radio while Niki went in to get his ice-cream. They drove home with the only sound being some jazz coming from the speakers, this time Kimi just closed his eyes and tried not to think. They got home quickly, but for some reason the lights were off in the house, Niki thinking that maybe James was up in their bedroom. 

Niki unlocked the door, and turned on the light, immediately spotting a piece of paper on the entry table.

"Kimi & Niki

I’ll be back in a couple of days, I’m sorry, I really am but I can’t trust that I’ll say the right thing right now. I love you Kimi.

-James."

“What’s that?” Kimi asked, emerging from the kitchen where he had put the ice-cream away, and now had an Magnum. 

“I will show you, but please do not take it personally.” Niki replied handing Kimi the note.

Kimi read it quickly, balling it up and throwing it against the wall, but not saying anymore. 

“I’ll be in my room.” Kimi stated, taking the ice-cream with him, adopting a cool demeanor.

“Alright, I’ll be down here if you need me, I love you Kleiner.” Niki replied, giving Kimi a hug.

“I love you too Vati.”


	3. A lack of intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit more light-hearted.

Kimi climbed the stairs to his room quickly, devoid of any emotion. He went into his bedroom, slid off his sneakers, threw the wooden stick from his ice-cream in the trash, and sat on his bed, and slowly took his t-shirt off, and concentrated, letting the pain take over. Kimi reached his arm back, touching one of the tentacles on his back, finding it warm and slimy. It surprised him though when the tentacle wrapped itself around Kimi’s hand. Another tentacle joined it, stroking the inside of Kimi’s wrist. They seemed to have a mind of their own, but when Kimi attempted to move one, he could. It was a bit odd to him, like if he could still move his arm, but sometimes it would do things on its own accord. Kimi was still disgusted by them though, he could handle the claws, the creepy eyes, the teeth, and all that, but to have slimy appendages sprouting out of his back was too abnormal. Kimi yanked on the tentacle that was wrapped around his hand, crying out at how much it actually hurt.

Looking at the tentacles, and really everything else, he didn’t blame James for leaving. Who would want a freak and a monster for a son? On the other hand Kimi just wanted his Dad right now, and had a simmering anger at the note. Like Niki had told him earlier, it wasn’t about James, it was about him. When Kimi thought about it hard, he hated James. He hated the man’s actions, the lack of support, everything. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it, James wasn’t going to be back for a few days. Kimi sighed. It wasn’t like he wasn’t getting support though, Niki was giving him enough for two people. Kimi didn’t know why he felt bad for being so angry. He was the one who had to deal with the whole stuff of nightmares monster thing. 

Kimi decided that it was probably a good idea to go to bed, seeing as it had probably been the longest day of his life. He sighed. Laying down, and realizing he was laying on the tentacles. He reverted, before closing his eyes. His thoughts ran too rampant to be able to sleep. He got back up, deciding to get something to drink. He padded out to the kitchen, and was greeted with Niki making himself hot chocolate.

“You want me to make you some?” Niki asked without even turning around.

“Please.” Kimi replied sitting on one of the kitchen stools.

Niki got the mug out of the cupboard, making hot cocoa for the both of them. When he was finished he handed Kimi’s mug to him. They drank in silence. Their eyes glued on their mugs just enjoying the outward silence, since inside their minds, they both had thoughts zipping around. When they were done, they exchanged good nights and went back to their bedrooms. Kimi now found it easier to sleep, the warm drink helping him doze off. 

~The Next Morning~

Kimi awoke slowly, glancing over at his alarm clock and wondering why he wasn’t at school. Then the memories of the day before hit him like a freight train, the tentacles, James leaving, all of it, and Kimi groaned. He didn’t want to remember, hell he didn’t want any of that to have happened, but it did. Kimi got up, reluctantly exiting the covers, knowing that it was going to be another long day. He trudged downstairs, where Niki was making breakfast for the two of them, he too looked exhausted, almost dropping the plate of pancakes that he was moving to the table.

“Good Morning Kimi.” Niki yawned, finally sitting down at the table.

“Morning Vati.” Kimi replied, scooping some eggs onto his plate.

“Were you able to get any sleep last night?” 

“Yeah, the hot cocoa helped.”  
“I’m glad.”

“Did you sleep at all?”

“Of course I did. I had very pleasant dreams.”

“You didn’t sleep a wink did you?”  
“No I didn’t but that’s unimportant. I’m just glad you got some. “

Kimi and Niki ate in silence, Niki hummed to himself in between bites of pancake. Niki had stayed up all night, worrying about Kimi, wanting to downright murder James, and worrying about Kimi again. He could handle a sleepless night, they happened once a while when he was racing. He thought about what he had to do today, which was research. Even though he had no idea where to start. Niki was brought out of his thoughts thought when there was a small ding. He looked over at Kimi who took his phone out of his pocket, checking his text messages.

“Ah shit.” Kimi groaned, pinching his nose with his fingers. 

“No, that’s a phone, not shit.” Niki mumbled, then chuckled at his dad joke. 

“Nice one.” Kimi rolled his eyes. “I forgot that Seb and I were supposed to work on our project today.”

“That is shit. Can you reschedule?”

“Well then he would have to come someday this week anyway, I don’t know if I say no he’ll probably think that I’m sick and come over anyway with like soup or something.”

“What do you think you should do?”

“I’ll probably tell him I’m sick, and he can come at his own peril. I’m not going to leave him hanging on this because my life is flip turned upside down.”

“You are a good kid Kimi. You really are.”

“Thanks Vati.” 

Kimi finished texting and leaned back in his chair. Maybe having Seb over would be good for him, take his mind off things. He couldn’t take things off his mind like he wanted, since he still needed to figure out how to climax without becoming a monster but it was better than nothing. Kimi put his phone back in his pocket and got up bring his plate over to the sink, Niki following suit. 

“What are you doing today?” Kimi asked realizing that Niki hadn’t relayed his plans. 

“I’m going to do some research. I probably should’ve done some last night but, no time like the present.”

“I’m going to get my assignment, try to see if I can knock some of it out before Seb gets here.”

“That’d probably be a good idea. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

“Alright I’ll be in my room.”

The two parted ways, Kimi going up to his room, and getting out his backpack, getting out a pen and a paper. He once more removed his t-shirt and concentrated, assuming his monstrous form. He wanted to do an experiment, concentrated on using his tentacles, having one pick up a pencil, he attempted writing, being able to write out his name with the quality of a Kindergardener, but it proved that he could do tricks with the very things that had made his life a living hell. He attempted to bring them around front and was able to hold a book and look through it. Kimi smiled in spite of himself. He felt that it was pretty cool that they were for more than show. He caught himself though. These are the things that made him a monster, he hated them, why was he trying to use them?

Kimi huffed tossing his textbook with a tentacle. He returned to normal, growing increasingly disgusted with himself. He quickly lost himself in the project, finding that there was a lot he could knock down solo. At around 3pm the doorbell rang, Kimi went to answer it, but Niki had beat him to it. Niki invited Seb in, asking how school was going and telling him that yes, Kimi really was sick. Seb kicked his shoes off, looking over he saw Kimi in the doorway. 

“I’ve been worried about you all day! I even bought you some Ginger Ale and Saltines. “Seb shrugged off his backpack, taking out a big bottle of Ginger Ale and a Family sized box of Saltines. “My Dad says they’re really the best for when you’re throwing up!” 

Kimi looked past Seb at Niki who was trying not to laugh at the display. Kimi just smirked. 

“Thanks.” 

“I also have my laptop with my notes, and your homework.”

“What didn’t you bring?”

“The kitchen sink.” 

Seb beamed at his own joke while picking his backpack up. Kimi waved for Seb to follow as they went up to his room. When they got there and Kimi closed the door Seb almost pounced him into a kiss, but Kimi didn’t return it. Seb pulled away, looking a bit confused.

“What’s wrong?” Seb asked, trying to make eye-contact. 

“I’m sick, I don’t want you catching it.” Kimi replied looking down.

“Usually you’re most contagious before you show symptoms, so it’s probably fine.”

“I really just don’t feel like it Seb.” 

“Is there something else going on?”

“No, I just don’t feel like intimacy you know? Let’s just get this project done.” 

“Fine.” 

They got to work, not really talking to eachother. Kimi knew that Seb was angry, but he knew if they started fooling around something was bound to happen, he didn’t want Seb to leave like his Dad had. They finished just as dinner was ready, but Seb didn’t stay, claiming he had other homework. Kimi sighed when Seb’s mom pulled out of the driveway, and Niki put his hand on his shoulder.

“What happened?” Niki asked, concernedly. 

“He wanted to fool around and I knew I couldn’t and I couldn’t tell him what was wrong…He probably thinks I’m cheating on him.”

“Or he’s just worried about you. He probably thinks you’re more sick than you’re letting on or something.”

“Hopefully.” They went over and sat down at the table. “By the way, did you find anything out today?” 

“A few theories, but nothing concrete. I’ll probably go down to the library tomorrow and follow up.”

“Okay, I don’t think I’ll come with you though. I don’t really feel like leaving the house.”

“I don’t blame you. Kleiner.”

When they finished Kimi went up to his room to attempt to sleep. He didn’t check his phone to see if Seb had texted, knowing that he hadn’t. Kimi felt tears running down his cheeks and began crying into his pillow. The stress from the past two days spilling from his eyes. He wanted to tell Seb what was happening, he wanted James to hug him and tell him it was going to be alright, he wanted Niki not to have to worry about him. He fell into fitful sleep that night, plagued with nightmares, and he was the monster in every one of them.


	4. Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niki knows that he has to support Kimi.

Niki watches Kimi go back upstairs, only relaxing his stance when he hears his son’s door close. He went back to the living room, collapsing onto the couch, and taking off his baseball cap. Slowly he ran his hand through his remaining curls before putting his head in his hands. He had didn’t think that James would actually leave, he thought that they would get home and that James would have something comforting, maybe even funny to say. Niki knew more than most that you should never let you guard down, because that’s when life would come to kick you down. 

When Niki and James had retired and adopted Kimi, Niki had let his guard down, his life was going perfect, sure he and James had a few hiccups, but what couple didn’t? It was almost mandatory in any relationship. But now his universe was coming crashing down. No parent wants their kid to have to go through any hardships, even though it was going to happen that it was going to happen, but this made Niki feel like a failure. He couldn’t protect his son, he had somehow let this happen. Niki cried without tears, sobs wracking his body. He cried for Kimi, for his son having to face the most turbulent years of his life with one more thing to worry about. 

There was no way that Niki would let Kimi see him breaking down though. He himself had once watched his mother breakdown through the crack of his parent’s bedroom door. It felt somehow responsible, even though to this day he had no idea why she had been crying. But he had assumed back then that he had done something wrong. Kimi was not going to feel isolated, or like he was doing this alone. Niki vowed right there and then, while the last sobs were leaving his body, that no matter what, he would be there for his son. 

Niki realized something though. No matter how much he loved and supported Kimi, his son need James’s love and support. Niki decided that he would try calling James, even if he was probably going to get James’s voice mail. He slid his phone out of his pocket, bringing up James’s number and pressing the ‘call’ button. It rang, and rang, and rang, and rang, and finally it went to voice mail. 

“You’ve reached James Hunt, I couldn’t get to the phone at the moment so just leave your credentials and a message and I’ll get back to you.” The voicemail answered in James’s deep, accented voice.

“James, please, I know this is a lot to take in, but please come home. We need to be here for Kimi, you can’t make this about yourself, you can’t treat him any differently because of this, please, come home…please.” Niki clicked end call, hoping that James would check his voicemail. 

Niki got up and went to the kitchen, seeing that James had done the dishes before he had left. Niki sighed and grabbed an ice cream from the freezer, and going back to the living room. He ate it in the silence of the house. He couldn’t imagine how Kimi was dealing with this as well as he was. He did breakdown in the car, but he had been able to get it together quite quickly. 

What Niki thought was the worst thing was the fact that, they didn’t know what it was exactly that Kimi was. This wasn’t like a regular movie monster, this was something different. Niki got up from the couch, going over to the bookcase where he kept the family photo albums, and selected the one that was labelled “Kimi: First year” he brought it over to the couch, and sat down. He opened the album to the first page, it had the letter they received from the adoption agency stating that they had a child for Niki and James, and a small photo that they had sent of Kimi who had been about a month old. Niki remembered the excitement when the letter arrived, he and James had cried, they had been trying to adopt for years, and had gone through around twenty different agencies. 

Niki flipped to the next page and looked the next page. He saw the first picture, it was Him and baby Kimi when they went to Finland to bring him home. Niki was smiling up at the camera, teeth sticking out, tired from the plane ride, Kimi looking grumpy from being woken up. The picture next to it was James looking up at the camera with Kimi in his arms, dwarfed in James’s muscular arms. James’s grin was impossible large, Kimi was looking at him confusedly. The next picture was of all three of them, James and Niki holding Kimi lovingly, James looking up smiling, Niki looking down at Kimi, smiling. Niki remembered that day. He had flown him and James up to Finland, and they didn’t want to wait till the next day to go see their son, so they went directly from the airport to the orphanage. It was worth it, when one of the workers brought out Kimi. Niki looked at the fourth picture, it was Niki sitting in the back seat of the rental car, next to the car seat that held Kimi. 

Niki closed the album and hugged it close to his chest. Closing his eyes and crying. He knew that he had to be there for Kimi no matter what, no matter how tough or strange things got. He didn’t know if things would go back to normal ever again, but Niki would make sure that it got as close as it could to it. He opened the book again, and spent the rest of the night looking through the photo albums, remembering the good times.


	5. A fight to remember.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It comes to a head.

Kimi woke up with the pillow still damp from the night before. He begrudgingly sat up glancing at his alarm clock, which proclaimed that it was almost noon. Kimi was shocked that Niki had let him sleep in this late. Of course, Niki would probably let Kimi get away with a lot of different things right now, but Kimi wouldn’t take advantage of him. Kimi knew that when most of his friends came over for the first time, that Niki was going to be the crotchety, buzz killing, old man. When in all actuality, James never wanted kids staying over, at the house late, making noise, and all that. Sure, he was more prone to a joke, but he really could be downright rude to Kimi’s friends, even Seb once in a while. But Niki would taxi kids, he remembered kid’s favorite snacks so that if Kimi told him they were coming over, he would get them, he encouraged sleep overs, family time, Kimi thought about it, Niki wasn’t perfect, but he was damn close. 

The smell of breakfast permeated the downstairs, Kimi could mostly smell bacon, but there was hints of eggs and toast. He went into the kitchen, surprised that Niki wasn’t in there, and that everything was already cleaned up. There was also a plate on the counter with a note tucked next to it. Kimi went over to it, reading carefully.

“Kleiner,

I went to the library to do research, I apologize for not waiting but I wasn’t going to wake you up, and I didn’t know what time you were going to wake up. I will be back around three, I am not leaving you. I saved you some breakfast and I apologize if it’s cold. I love you very much, and will see you soon.

-Vati.”

Kimi smiled at the note, it was re-assuring and caring, and he began to think about Niki again, but was brought out of his thoughts when his stomach growled loudly. He lifted the cover off the plate, happy to see that it was still warm. He went to the cupboard, and got a glass which he brought with him to the fridge to fill it with orange juice. He sat down with his breakfast and ate slowly, seeing no reason to hurry or rush. When he was done he took his plate to the sink, planning to just leave it, but deciding to wash it, so that Niki didn’t have to. When he was finished he went to his bedroom and brought down his back pack full of his homework, settling down on the couch to work on math, putting the TV on for background noise.

Kimi almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a key in the lock. Looking over and seeing James coming through the door. Kimi immediately tensed. He had wanted James to come home so badly, but now that it was happening he was nervous. Mostly due to the fact that Niki wasn’t here to be the buffer or voice of reason. James came into the living room, passing by the couch with a, “Hey Kimster.” Before going into the bedroom. Kimi was confused. Was James just going to act like nothing happened? Like he hadn’t disappeared for a day and a half with only a note? Kimi tried to reassure himself, he didn’t think that James would stoop to that level, but his fears were confirmed when James came back out, and got an ice-cream before sitting down and watching the Television. Kimi waited, hoping that James was going to say something about what happened, but even after five minutes, and James finishing his ice-cream bar, nothing was said. Kimi switched off the Television, making James startle.

“Oi, I was watching that!” James stated.

Kimi just stared, waiting for James to apologize. 

“What?”

Kimi felt rage well up, at the word. “What? WHAT? You have been gone for a day and a half and you can’t even say ‘sorry’? Or provide any explanation?”

James just sat there surprised and Kimi stood up.

“Any explanation at all?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m back now and that’s the important thing. Just calm down, you’re making too big a deal out of this.”

“No, I’m not! I’m making a perfectly reasonably sized deal out of this. Dad, you left, you left when I needed you, when Vati needed you. Don’t you realize that?” 

“You guys are perfectly fine without me, hell Niki isn’t even here.”

“Because he’s at the library trying to figure out what the fuck I am! He’s being a good Father! Something that you don’t seem to get. You’re supposed to be there for me, to give me a hug and tell me that it’s alright. To tell me that you love me. I don’t and it’s not selfishness, it’s expectations of how a parent is supposed to be. But apparently you missed the memo.” Kimi was getting increasingly angry, and increasingly impassioned. “The moment I am not who you want me to be, the moment I am not the perfect son that you expect me to be, you leave. Then you act like nothing fucking happened! You act like you never left. But you did, and you can’t change that..” Kimi didn’t even notice that he had shifted during his speech and his tentacles were waving madly behind him. James looked terrified.

“I-I didn’t want to treat you any differently. So I pretended like nothing happened.” 

“You can’t just do that! You can’t just pretend like none of this happened, and acting differently around me is as bad as treating me differently. You’re acting like I’m this monster instead of your son. Yeah, I admit right now, I’m a monster, but I am ALSO your son! I’m still me, I’m still Kimi, and I wish you would understand.”

“You’re not still you, you’re different. You couldn’t sprout tentacles before Kimi, I’m so sorry that it’s a bit hard to cope when your little boy sprouts fucking tentacles!”

“Okay, then why didn’t Vati leave? Why didn’t Vati call me a freak and kick me out?” 

“I don’t know maybe because he’s a little more empathetic on the freak thing? Maybe I should just leave again, you obviously favor Niki.”

“I FAVOR HIM BECAUSE HE WAS THERE FOR ME, HE’S ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME.” 

Kimi shouted, anger becoming palpable energy around him, blowing the light bulbs in the room, and making the electricity go haywire. At that moment Niki came in. Running into the living room when he noticed the lights. He went up to Kimi putting his hand on his shoulder. Making Kimi startle and his head whip around, and realize that he was making the lights go wonky. He tried to calm down, at least enough to stop the manipulation of the energy around him. 

“Kimi, its okay, just focus, you’re letting your mind cloud, and not letting yourself calm down.” Niki soothed quietly. “Just focus.”

Kimi slowly but surely calmed down. Niki rubbing his shoulder, and mumbling something James couldn’t hear. Finally Kimi shifted back, glaring angrily at the floor. 

“I’m gone for a few hours and suddenly you.” Niki poked a finger at James. “Have decided to grace us with your presence, and you.” Niki poked a finger at Kimi. “Have completely lost your temper and are skyrocketing the electricity bill. So will one of you please tell me what happened?” 

No one said anything. James glaring at Kimi and Kimi glaring at James. Niki sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Tell. Me. What. Happened. NOW. Kimi you start.”

Kimi and James explained what happened, Niki having to intervene a few times when they attempted to talk over each other, or began to argue. Niki finally buried his head in his hands, the gravity of his family falling apart in front of him finally hitting. 

“James, you need to realize that there is no running away from this, from him. You need to man up and deal with your feelings. We are the parents, we are here for support and love, no matter what the circumstances. I know you’re capable of looking past the appearance. You’re honestly better than this James. You’re a kind, caring individual, I don’t see why you’re acting like this. You’re attempting not to treat him any different, but yet, that’s exactly what you’re doing.” Niki looked at Kimi. “I know that you are going through an incredibly hard time, but you need to keep your temper, or we won’t be able to leave this house, because you’ll life in fear of manifesting in front of people. You need to realize that. You should also explore your abilities more. I got you some books that I think pertain to you. Now you’re going to apologize to each other.” 

“Kimi. I’m so sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry for abandoning you when you needed me the most. I understand if you hate me now, an if you think I’m the biggest piece of trash on the planet. But I still love you Kimister.” James stated quietly, looking at Kimi.

“Dad, I’m sorry for not seeing how this might affect you, and I’m sorry for losing my temper.” Kimi replied.

They got up and gave each other a hug. Earning a look of approval from Niki. 

“Now, who wants McDonalds for dinner?” James grinned.


	6. Flee into the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was James up to in his time away?

James placed his forehead on the cold glass, and closed his eyes. He knew that he couldn’t stay, that he couldn’t even look at his own son without doing something that he would regret. He also knew that he had to leave, to sort out his feelings on the matter. He also knew that he was a coward, hell more than a coward. What kind of man was he? To run from his own son, his own family. He had to get out though, before he could second guess himself. 

James rushed into the bedroom that he had shared with Niki for years, and grabbed his backpack. He grabbed a couple shirts and jeans. His toiletries, and his phone with charger went in too. Finally he slid his wallet into his back pocket, and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, and jotted down a quick note to Kimi and Niki, before going out to his car. James looked at the vehicle, sitting in the quiet night, and almost ran back to the house, but kept going. Without looking back he opened the car door, and threw his bag in before sliding in. He shoved his keys in the ignition, bringing the car to life. 

Not looking back, James drove down the driveway, leaving his family before they could return. He could feel tears streaming down his face, but he continued down the road. He drove across town, and quickly pulled into a gas station, and proceeded to fill his tank. He entered the little convenience store, going straight to the beer section, and grabbed a twenty-four rack. He went up through, grabbing a bag of chips, two packs of Reese’s, and some gum. He came up to the counter with his purchases, and put an apple on top of the beer, and the cashier gave him a weird look. 

“Oh you know, I still have to maintain my girlish figure.” James stated, putting on a fake smile.

The cashier laughed, before asking. “Will that be all?” 

“Could I also get a carton of Marlboro Black and Reds?” 

“Of course sir.” The cashier grabbed a carton and put it on the counter. She rang up his purchases. “That’ll be £48.50.”

“Oh, I had gas too. The blue Mini, out there, pump number three.”

“Oh, sorry about that sir.: The cashier typed in a couple more numbers. “That’ll be £68.50”

James pulled the bills out of his pocket before handing it to the cashier. “Keep the change.” He added with a wink, before picking up his purchases. When he went over the threshold back to his car, and his face contorted into a frown. He put his bags into the boot of the car, but not before taking the carton of cigarettes into the cab with him. He sat in the seat, activating the car lighter, before lighting the cigarette. He paused before putting it to his lips. Was he really about to do this? He had quit smoking the day that he and Niki had decided to adopt a child, now over a decade later, he was looking down the barrel of a loaded gun, and was willing to pull the trigger. James finally put the cigarette to his lips, inhaling the smoke, and coughing. He took another drag, before starting the engine. He put the car in gear, and pressed the gas. 

James drove, and drove, and drove. Until he got to the nearest large city. He stopped at the first clean looking motel, parking the car in front of the office. He quickly booked one of the only smoking rooms in the place. He brought the car over in front of the door, and brought his things in. The room was surprisingly clean, for a place that allowed smoking. James sat on the bed and took out his phone, finding that he only had one missed call and voicemail from Niki. He opened it, put in his password and listened.

“James, please, I know this is a lot to take in, but please come home. We need to be here for Kimi, you can’t make this about yourself, you can’t treat him any differently because of this, please, come home…please.” Niki was pleading, and James felt his heart shatter. How could he have been so selfish? How could he have abandoned his family? James put his head in his hands. Chest heaving in shame, tears flowing freely from his eyes. He was making it about himself by leaving, when Kimi needed him most. James felt like the lowest form of life. He looked at the clock on the end-table. It was too late to go back tonight. James took out another cigarette and popped it in his mouth, finding a complementary box of matches on the dresser and grabbed one. He quickly lit it and held it to the cigarette, taking a puff, and smoking it quickly. It helped him to stop shaking. 

When he finished, he decided to take a shower. Wanting to wash the sins of his decisions from his body. He turned the water to scalding, so that it would burn his skin. He stepped under the water, feeling it flow over him in a type of baptism from his sins. He didn’t want to face the truth, but he knew he had to. He reviewed what Niki had said in his head that he shouldn’t treat Kimi any different. Did that mean that he shouldn’t even acknowledge what happened when he came back the next day? James thought that would probably be the best thing for all of them, make them a normal family again. James ended the shower quickly after soaping down and shampooing his hair. He quickly put on his clothes before falling onto the bed, into a dreamless sleep.

~The Next Morning~

James awoke with a start, wondering why he was in a hotel, he looked over, wondering why he was in a hotel without Niki or Kimi, and then it hit him like a dump truck. All of his memories from the day before, Kimi being a monster, leaving because of it, fleeing to some random hotel room. He shivered, but got up, knowing that he had to go back, that he couldn’t treat Kimi any differently. He got up, quickly throwing on clothes, and gathering his stuff, and repeating the same mantra to himself, even as he left. Don’t treat him differently.

**Author's Note:**

> Kleiner-Little One. I wanted Niki to have a pet name for Kimi in German.
> 
> Vati-Dad in German, once again as decided by google.


End file.
